What would you do?

What would you regret

The chances that you take and missed

or the chances you miss and had taken?

What would you mourn

Someone you loved and never get

or someone you get but never love?

What would you love

The feelings that were touching

or the touch that never had a feeling?

What would you wish

A prayer that never got fulfilled 

or fulfilment which you never prayed?

Death was kind..

And the day appeared when the death was kind..
She told she’ll be returning, while you take your own sweet time..
Take a moment to gasp, ponder and breathe,
What’s been missing all these years and what’s more beneath..

I give you more mornings to feel the air..
Express the love and memories you shared.

But later when the dusk arrives..
the threatened soul, the relentless effort strives..
the last battle was won, but we lost this war.. 
She didn’t say a word, but loosened the reins on her pale white horse..
The unsaid words and some untold stories still remain.. 
cremated and gone but yet not gone.. 
Living it everyday.. down the memory lane..

Dated: July 2016

Ride Along with Los Angeles Sheriff Dept.

​
Ride along means spending a shift (usually an 8 hour shift) with a police officer to understand and observe their duties and day to day activity. I was always curious about this and wanted to do it.

I happened to meet the Chief of Los Angeles County's Sheriff Department in one of the conferences.
As much as she liked an engineer, I liked to ask about sheriff's work. So I asked her if she could arrange a ride-along for me. She immediately redirected me to a Sargent who got me scheduled at the East Los Angeles Sheriff Station. Viola!

They asked me to provide my CA driver's licence which they keep until the shift is complete and sign a waiver form which states that during ride-along there may be threat or danger to your life and that they are not liable to any loss.

While waiting at the station, I saw a lot of people coming to find out about their family members who have been arrested and detained. They wanted to know the reason for their custody. Most of them happened to be Latinos. They would use a black phone to dial an extension where they could talk to the jailer and get direction for the next steps.

There is a deputy explorer program where new applicants can go and apply. The URL for it is explorers.lasd.org.

My shift was supposed to be from 2 pm to 10 pm covering East LA areas (which I guess is supposed to be dangerous side of LA!). The deputy came to get me from the front of the station and there began the journey!

She showed her laptop deployed in the car (Panasonic with DOS system along with AT&T wireless  - Both the companies I have worked for!) which had various tabs and codes, like (O) meant observation when they would have to stop suspicious people on the streets. With the new law, after every observation they are supposed to fill in some 20 questions about the person they cited. This is mostly for tacking, reporting and analytics purposes. When they turned on the siren, it gets tracked too. She explained how she has two walkie talkies - one for the district and other for the county (which had a central operator)
I noticed a gun in between the two seat. She said it was a loaded shot-gun.

Then came a message on a screen that we had to drive to a place where 4 males and 1 female were fighting on the street and there was a gun involved. The system also had a detailed description of one of the person describing what he looked like, what was he wearing. 6 police cars were deployed to this location. But by the time we reached the fight was over and the place was cleared. No fun.

We took a lunch break and talked to another deputy while discussing various loopholes in the law! ;)

Later in the evening, we went to a Hispanic house where a guy had an allegation for not feeding and taking care of his grandparent. Some spooky place it was. While driving through that neighborhood, we crossed a house where the music was too loud and these people were all partying. They were told to lower the music. A drunk Latino guy came out right next to our car window which was rolled down (yes it was next to my face!) to ask if music was the only problem. It was intimidating but we were fine.

We went to Maywood, Commerce and some areas around that. All throughout the deputy was super friendly. She was a trump supporter and I was not. But then I wanna in her car and she is a police office with a loaded gun. 👀 Just Kidding. She was open to have a healthy political discussion.

Overall, it was a great experience! Worth doing it once in your life. :)

If you would like to try it, go to:

http://www.joinlapd.com/pdf/LAPD%20Ride-Along.pdf

Tumhari pyaari, Shaayari

Main teri ho naa saki to kya, Aaj bhi teri shaayari ban jaati hoon..
Un shabdon ke uljhe hue dhaagon se, ab joojh na paati hoon..
In alfazon mein teri naraazgi bhi hai..
kabhi dekha to dua hai, aur kabhi meri barbaadi bhi hai..
Ae musaafir ab aur tu safar na kar..
yahi hai teri manzil, kisi aur ki dua na kar...
teri zindagi ka hissa bhi hoon aur ek gehra raaz bhi
dil ka ehsaas kabhi, gham-e-shaayari ka taaj bhi..
kadwahat ke aalam mein yeh mohabbat shehad ban jaati hai..
inn lehron ka shor bhi hai, fir bhi sannate ko mehsoos karwati hai..
yaad aata hai woh milon chalna chandni ki chaadar tale..
kisi ko khabar na thi, warna aaj humari misaal ban jati veh..

Subah ka intezaar tha

Phir se zindagi thodi si dagmagaayi hai..

Jaane kiska nashaa chadha tha mujhe..

Hosh mein aaye to aas-paas koi na tha..

Apni hi dhun mein chal rahe the kahin..

Aankh kholi thi jab dekha is jag ko..

Kohra hi chhaya tha har jagah.Woh oas ki boondein thi ya,Aakhon se chalke aanson..Gham-e-shyaam nikal gayi..fir hui ek nayi subah..

Dad...

It feels like it happened just yesterday..
As I remember every second so crystal clear
The time slowed down, the voices less heard,
I could hear my heartbeat but rest of the body all numb.
Some things could make sense but most couldn't,
Because I couldn't accept the fact that the battle was over and defeat was marked.
It's over.

But then I started seeing you everywhere..
More than I could see you before..
In the reflection off the back of the gleaming spoon..
In a gesture my sister makes..
In the arch of my lips when I'm stressed..
Through the brush strokes of paintings you have made..
In the tone of my mother, the strongest person you made..
You are still around in our every breath..

There were valleys and peaks I crossed this year,
Felt like you helped me climb the mountains with no fear..
A rebel, a fighter you taught us to be..
You are still in our hearts and mind.. and will always be..

Love,
Your Daughter

Inn baaton ka ant nahi koi..

Is thandi shyaam ki rut mein Dil mastana hai
Kaagaz ki kashti hai.. 
Nadiyaa Mein doob jaana... 
Dekhtein jab teri tasveer 
Tab se Dil hua deewana hai..
Kabhi hoti ek sheher ki shart
Aur kabhi kundliyon ka dera 
Fir bhi sudhre na yeh zamana hai..
Jo kari hai shart-e-mohabbat 
Aaj usko hi nibhana hai.. 
Sookh gaya hai tera gala
Awaaz bhi ho gayi zakhmi.. 
Fir bhi baatein nahi hain ruktien 
Chaahe ho koi bhi toofan, ab is kashti ko chalana hai
Rishte ke iss naazuk se pull ko paar karana hai..

Jab ek dost door chala jata hai...

Yeh karwan ek naya mod laya hai..
ek dost aaj apne desh wapis gaya hai..
badh gaye hain tere ghar ke fasle mere dost..
par aaj bhi tu yahan hai..
kuch saal se shuru hui mulakatein..
woh ghatiya se joke aur woh lambi baatein
bhar gaya tu itni saari yaadein..
saale ab kaun karega teen baje hamari problems solve?
kaun dikhaayega woh "Gary Gulman" ke episodes..
mere phone ka bill bhi baaki hai.. bhar dena saale..
rona rulana fir haske hasana..
ab India phone karna padega..
International jo ho gaya hai humara yaar..
bhejenge tujhe dollar wale bill..
chuka dena warna....... tu wapis to mil!

Humko mohabbat nahi tumse...

Humko mohabbat nahi tumse...
mohabbat ko ho gayi mohabbat hai aaj..
jab dekha humne tumhari nazaron mein..
aa gayi ho jaise kayamat kash..

na dhoodhte hain ab koi manzil..
na jaate hain apna raasta..
na rahe saawal aur na koi jawaab..
bas reh gaya is mohabbat ka wasta..

mohabbat muqaddar hai koi khwaab nahi..
jismein sabhi sawaalon ka jawaab nahi..
thaam kar haath chalna tum mere..
tab dikhega andhera.. kaali adhuri raat nahi.. 

Adhoore reh gaye hum...

Adhoore reh gaye woh khat...

Adhoore hain ab shab-e-gham..

Adhoori hain ab woh baatein.. 

Adhoore reh gaye hai hum.. 

Ghanton baithe the teri rah dekhte.. 

Tere saya tak na dikhta abhi.. 

bin bataye chale gaye aaj woh.. 

Chand sawalon ke jawab baaki the abhi..

Jab khaamoshi ne apna dera dala..

Tanhaiyon mein simati hoon ab main.. 

Teri chaahat ki talaash karti..

Bhatakti dar-dar  har ghadi..

Kaash woh hota aaj yahan...

Sahem jaati hoon is akelepan mein.. 

Nakhoonon ko kutarte hue.. 

Iss darr mein... ki woh ab naa lautega.. 

Adhoore hain ab shab-e-gham..

Adhoore to tum bhi.. jitne adhoore hain hum...

Woh tu naa tha..

Socha tha tu wapis aa gaya hoga...
itne saalon se kara tha tera intezaar..
ek din thaam lega mera haath tu..
aankhon mein aankhein daale..
labon ko choomte hue..
fir se karega aitebaar..
ishq ka rang feeka nahi hua mere yaar..
aaj bhi utna hi meetha hai yeh..
bas teri hi kami thi.. aaj woh bhi puri ho gayi..
tera naam likhte likhte thak gayi thi main bhi..
kagaz ke panne katam ho gaye..
par main na ruki..
aaj shyam jab tu aaya mujhse milne..
laga ki jaise duniya badal gayi...
par galat thi main..
tu woh nahi jiska intezaar tha..
woh chehra nahi, naa hi woh dil..
khamosh reh gayi jab pehchana tujhe..
jaane kyun kho diya maine use...

Kho gaya woh shaayar...

Teri kitaab ke panno ki awaaz aati hai mujhe..
woh kalam ki siyahi ki khushboo bhi yaad aati hai..
jab padhti thi tumhare dil ka haal un shabdon mein..
kyun ab likhta nahi hai, mere shaayar?
kabhi fursat se mera khayal aaye to
chhu lena un panno ko bhi ek baar..
woh panno ko jab aanson geela karte the
aur kabhi dekh kar chehra muskuraya bhi..
jisko thaame tumne kitne pal bitaaye..
apni yaadon ko bhi inmein piroya hai..
Fir chaahe us pyar ki mithaas ho
ya us nafrat ki kadhwahat..
kar waqt ka swaad chakha hai tere aksharoon ne..
tanhai ki chaadar mein lapete hue
tute hue dil ke tukde samete hue..
tumhare dil ki jhalak aa jati thi mujhe..
aaj taras jaati hoon tujhe dekhne ke liye..
kam-se-kam teri shayari to dikha de mujhe..
kahan kho gaya hai tu.. aur teri shayari..

The Funny and Delightful Love

On a meteor shower night, watching the twinkling stars
We sit in awe to see them through the sun roof of the car
waiting for that shooting star to make our wish come true
romanticized on the Mulholland drive with the depth of love in the midnight blue...

Walking along the mystic river listening to the sound of trickling water
I hold your hand on this moonlit night finding peace in my heart and soul..
Skipping down the streets singing poems, giving rhythm to our love song..
feeling the warmth and gentleness that you embrace..

From The freezing cold to the mountain high,
Two curious roamers on this the endless drive..
the remarkable spontaneity of our plans have always been..
With the irony of scheduled time tables in our mind..

We've hidden in some motel's parking lot..
and dined in the best places we could have thought..
danced all night to steal the show..
songs you rap and hit the floor!

The thrilling drive with those crazy songs
new to old the numbers played in loop
simulating a strange force of attraction..
stopping on a freeway to express compassion..
we fight like nuts while driving to our destination
and then you stop the car, hugging me with a token of endearment..

You are truly a coco"nut" just like your jokes..
hard from outside but soft from the soul..
carrying a heart of gold, you are precious than any gem..
why do you envy others around me, you are very special and not one of them..

In this short span of time, you have been my life's vivacious part..
Never met such a genuine person with fire in his heart..
How easily we give up on these little pieces of happiness..
when I know that a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek can sort it out..

Mere jaisa hai tu bhi..

Tere mere beech mein
ek lakeer ka hai farak
Dilon mein ek jaisa junoon
aur ragon mein jo khoon
kuch anokha rishta ho jaise..

Teri namaaz aur meri aarti mein
jab ehsaas ek jaisa ho
sirf alfaazon ke kareegar alag hain
par jazbaado ka ehsaas wahi..

tere gharonde se jo
mitti ki khushboo aati hai..
mujhe mere vatan ki yaad dilati hai
rishton mein hai wahi mithaas..
maa ka woh ladlapan..
aur nanhein bachchon ki awaaz..
naap tol ke kehte hum shabdon ko..
bado ki izzat karna har baar..

chaahat bhi hai aur aakrosh bhi
jazbaadon mein wahi zindadili hai..
wasta shiddat-e-jazbat se bhi
aankhon mein dikhti wahi narmi bhi hai..

The threats

Here approaches the threat
before all the regrets
let this summer get over
and the sky be more clear
I will be coming with my knife
to rip you apart
and take away your life
you're gonna fall soon
death reaches through a cold blooded massacre
have I chosen the destiny for you
or you asked for it too
keep that smile on your face
Because tomorrow you might not embrace!

The twinkling love

Did I tell the stars how much I love them
that I fall for them every night until the dawn
and I miss them everyday till the sunlight is gone..
fallen for the darkness has my dear soul
waiting for the night to come
to hopelessly fall in love, once again..
you belong to the other world I know
and I can never tell you how much you mean to me..
but your twinkle does a magic trick
it sings a melodious song in my heart
kindling fire and a hope to live
to do my best in the day
so that in the night we can again meet!

Arre o buzdil shikari..

Fir se jal gaye hain angaare..

Aaj faila hai fir woh dhuaa..

Uthi hain aag ki lapte jahan..

Aur hazaaron dilon mein ek jasba..

 kya kar sakta hai tu buzdil.. 

Maasoomo ko tune raakh kara..

Ek din tera bhi aayega, dekhlena..

Koi nahi aaye tere janaaze pe..

Yeh kehta hai dil mera..

Bhaag ja kapti neta

Bhookh hadtaal karke aana ne,
ek hi naara lagaya hai
bhrashtachar ko dur bhagao,
yahi sandesh pahunchaya hai...

Arvind ji ne soch samajh kar,
aaj har bhartiya ko haath badhaya hai,
main hoon aam aadmi, kehkar,
sahas har jan ka jagaya hai!

nahi rahegein ab desh waasi,
na koi dabne wala hai..
bhaag jao o desh dhrohiyon,
Janlokpal aane wala hai..

Doodh ka doodh, pani ka pani
ab to sab ho jayega,
chahe scam ho ya kala dhan,
ab tu bhaag na payega...

Baat ho 2G ki, ya ho kisi khaan ka koyala,
ya ho Swiss bank mein pakha woh kala dhan,
ab tu pakada jayega,
ulte pair bhaag ja warna,
Arvind aane wala hai!!

Ek Ehsaas

Aaj fir baitha hoon main us samunder ke samne,
jiske ek aur zindagi aur doosri aur maut dikhti hai..
us zindagi ke bhi har modh par ek maut si hai..
us maud ke aate hi ek taraf jahan nayi zindagi ki khushi milti hai,
wahin dard rehta hai us pal hui ek maut ka...

main baitha is rait par har pal sochta hoon..
ki yeh kinara kitna kuch de jata hai..
paane ke liye yahan zeher bhi mile..
kho jaati hai jisse zindagi..
wahin mil jaye humein us shankh mein se ek awaaz..
jo de jaaye tumhe zingagi ka ehsaas..

aajeeb manzil ke modh par aaj khada hoon main..
jahan pyar kabhi zindagi se ho to kabhi maut de jaye ek khushi..
kis kadar ki mohabbat ka nasha sa ho gaya hai..
ki aaj zameen bhi nigal jaye to naseeb hai hamara..

The blend...

And once again it was time to board 747,
this time Seattle to L.A.
You pick your bag,fix it in cabin and take your seat,
when a man comes near to you for a favor to speak,
A request from a lady to swap her place,he said
The awaited "Yes" from me brought smiles on both the faces I met..

Squeezing myself into the seat between the two new men..
I put the seat belt and "Thank God" were the words into my ears then..
before I could wonder who were they,I heard "where are you from?"
and staring at both the faces I uttered "India"

Looking at the left was an American gentleman,
who asked again "where are you from?"
"okay,so u mean where in India. Do you know about places in India?"
and then I noticed a "Rudraksh" in his neck
he knew plenty of places including Mumbai where he had developers of his company..
he turned into a vegetarian 7 years ago, had no processed food also,
he knew Rudraksh were tears of Lord Shiva
and his favorite Gods were Maa Kaali, Lord Shiva and Lord Ganesh
but,not forgetting,he always loved his home town, Chicago [and so loved cheese ;)]
No wonder I saw Maa Kaali sticker on his Mac Notebook on the way..

and the I turned my right, where sat a tall, dark handsome guy
he felt odd one out after hearing our conversations about Rudraksh..
and then we introduced ourselves, "myself Vimal here"
born and brought up in Canada but parents from India..
The conversations began about India about which he hardly knew
and then showed his Id card, "I am an American SWAT corp.
People are afraid of me, but it was always my passion to be one.."
He spoke about being in the front line while being in Iraq
showed his hatred for Taliban, and why he joined this force..
why this resentment was flowing through his blood..
what makes him feel proud to be a part of American SWAT unit..

Thinking to rest then I closed me eyes..
for within a second I just realized..
God must have thought to make million kinds of people..
but he succeeded to make trillions of different kinds..
the mix and match sometime turns so different..
and that the blood in veins are from some other soil..
and your heart and soul follows a different one..
World is full of ironies..
Just came across this one..
and then I opened my eyes with smile on my face.. "they are just two different people" :)